We Lost Her

Her Spirit

I stood in the doorway, a surge of adrenaline rushed through me. My mom was a light sleeper, and her not answering when I said her name was bad. I rushed to the lamp and turned on the light. I looked at her. She was gone. Her blue eyes were staring at nothing, and green vomit spilled out of her mouth, down her pillow, and pooled next to her. I screamed.

Police. Phone calls. Shock. I called my grandparents at four thirty in the morning and told them their youngest daughter was dead. The sound my grandma made still breaks into my head and goes straight into my heart.

Four days later, I sat in the place my mom died. I held her cat, hugging her tight and crying into her fur. She steadily purred into my chest as her fur soaked up my grief. I tried explaining that we would never see her mommy again, but I don’t think either of us understood.


3 thoughts on “We Lost Her

  1. mandy

    This is heartbreaking. Is this something that has just happened? Nothing would be more difficult for a child. Please accept my heartfelt condolences.


    1. poorsickandshunned Post author

      This actually happened 10 years ago when I was 24. If I think about it for too long, though, it hurts as bad as the day it happened.

      Thank you very much for all your kind words. It helps a lot to know that someone cares.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. mandy

        It touched me deeply. Even if it was 10 years ago, the pain is obviously still there. You remind me of my daughter and I could fall apart with worry. Only a couple of weeks ago, my young daughter, only 26, was over so we could have dinner together to celebrate her birthday. Only a few bites into dinner I had some crazy “cardiac event” and the ambulance was called. As the paramedics did their thing, I saw the fear in my daughters eyes, fear that we were saying goodbye. Reading your post makes me know what she will go through when the time comes.

        Whatever you went through with your mom, I’m glad you felt love. ♥


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